Me, I don't remember ever sharting
Hmm... The earliest I remember was first or second grade. I was sick from food poisoning because of Apple Bees earlier that evening. Got into bed, felt the need to fart, and promptly sharted myself.
I learned an important lesson that day:
"There's no such thing as a fart when you're sick."
never sharted gang here
i wish i were cool enough to shart. i only have strong bowel movements and silent, lethal farts
old enough to know better