Megacorp dystopia memes

[rachel]

[video]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FqXTCvDLeo[/video]

[Mozai]

We see a fashion model -- or maybe a painter's model for romance novels -- wearing only pyjama bottoms and hair that is gel'd and mousse'd into that "just woke up" tussle. Yawn, stretch to flex his chiselled stomach and he pads down the hall of a New York loft. He turns into a door, and the door closes on the camera so the view shows the "Man/Woman" icon that is universally recognized as a bathroom in a public building (despite this being an obvious private home).

Cut to the loft's kitchen, all white paneling with black marble tops and shiny nickel fixtures that have seen no use. A beautiful thin woman is pouring generic-brand breakfast cereal into two bowls, with flawless hair and makeup despite the carefully-careless man's shirt she's wearing as pyjamas (too large for the fashion model we saw earlier). The pretty man walks in from stage left, gives her a chaste peck on the cheek and moves across to the fridge.

"The usual?" she asks, looking at the cereal so the audience knows what she means and the production company can minimize the woman's speaking role.

"Nah, need more fibre, and my potassium count is low," says the model in a voice suspiciously clear for facing away from us. He turns around and places oatmeal and two bananas on the counter next to the woman's pair of offerings.

Cut to the bathroom door again, which opens and the camera pans in to the spotless and unused bathroom. The camera continues to pan on the spotless toilet, until an Apple® logo is visible on the top of the water-tank.

"Apple iToilet™; high quality output comes from high quality intake. Now with iCloud™ compatibility so you can get the same improved service when you need to go on the go.&

[Mozai]

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/uber-knows-when-your-phone-is-about-to-run-out-of-battery-a7042416.html

Speaking to NPR's Hidden Brain programme, Mr Chen said the amount of battery users had left was "one of the strongest predictors of whether or not you are going to be sensitive to surge" – in other words, agree to pay 1.5 times, 2 times or more the normal cost of a journey. Uber knows whether a user is on low battery because the app needs to use that information to go into power

[rachel]

Courtesy of Kiiada on IRC

[Mozai]

[rachel]

holy fuck it's real https://www.irs.gov/publications/p17

Stolen property.

If you steal property, you must report its fair market value in your income in the year you steal it unless you return it to its rightful owner in the same year.

[Mozai]

To get a true/false result, you must install unknown software in your personal digital assistant, and upload data you don't know into our cloud servers...

[Mozai]

[Mozai]

Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day.
Teach a man to fish, buy the pond, tell him he can't have the fish but he can fish for you and you'll sell the fish and give him a very small cut, and he'll say stuff like "I am hungry and my teeth hurt" because nobody wants to fish these days.
-- Tim Ross

[kayimbo]

[Mozai]

[rachel]

[rachel]

[here cums the fuck truck]

To get a true/false result, you must install unknown software in your personal digital assistant, and upload data you don't know into our cloud servers...

i tried to get a covid test locally at rite aid and i couldn't without creating a google account. my last two i didn't need to do any of that nonsense the results were texted or emailed to me. fucking bull shit i dont need an advertising agency ruining my health history or spreading it around or even storing it.

[rachel]

To get a true/false result, you must install unknown software in your personal digital assistant, and upload data you don't know into our cloud servers...

i tried to get a covid test locally at rite aid and i couldn't without creating a google account. my last two i didn't need to do any of that nonsense the results were texted or emailed to me. fucking bull shit i dont need an advertising agency ruining my health history or spreading it around or even storing it.

yeah I'm really glad I was able to take a completely analog at home test with no fucking app or anything. I just unscrewed the bottle and put it into the test and swabbed my nose

Despite the convenience of not needing an app, the fucking at home test didn't even work and gave me a false negative when I did in fact have covid lol