Dad jokes

[Mozai]

 Getting mythology wrong is my Hercules ankle.

I have a suntanning addiction, so only go on holiday in winter. I went cold Turkey last year.

Last year, I had a great joke about inflation, but it's hardly worth it now.

[Mozai]

[here cums the fuck truck]

[Mozai]

[Mozai]

[rachel]

this is clearly an anime girl joke not a dad joke

[here cums the fuck truck]

[rachel]

[Mozai]

If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?

What disease did cured ham have?

Why do we say "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every ninety minutes?

Why do alarm clocks make noise when we say they go off?

Shouldn't it be "SOME things in moderation" instead of "All things..." ?

Why do we yell "heads up!" when we want people to duck?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell "mnemonic" ?

We call it quicksand but it sucks you down so slowly...

Why are all the outdoors things looked after by the Department Of The Interior ?

We call them marbles but they're made out of glass.

When French people are about to swear, do they first say "parodonez-moi mon Anglais" ?

What does a bald man have as their hair colour on a driver's license?

How do you throw away a garbage can?

You carry suits in a garment case; you carry garments in a suitcase.

When two aeroplanes almost collide and miss each other, we call it a "near miss" not "nearly a hit".

How can something be both "new" and "improved" ?

How did the "Keep Off The Grass" sign get on the grass?

[Mozai]

[Mozai]

[Mozai]

[Mozai]

[rachel]

[Mozai]

Doctor: I can knock out the patient using gas, or using a boat paddle; it's an ether / oar situation.