(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DhcO3bHUwAAuAmS.jpg:large)
(https://66.media.tumblr.com/b323dec4fa52ab4f337f95d48be25590/b5979738e4b09fec-1e/s1280x1920/e825ba3360e2ca29ca2453f7c37e8b9a28f7e140.jpg)
(https://66.media.tumblr.com/5f88d85f25d744ebb770a0f0bed7467c/b5979738e4b09fec-46/s1280x1920/e989b14e18be65c8e37f9986d5c6b1d24b4b295e.jpg)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/712075315874365440/97603433_1548237392012102_4294465175668391936_n.png)
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Quote from: here cums the fuck truck on May 23, 2020, 03:17:11 PM
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/712075315874365440/97603433_1548237392012102_4294465175668391936_n.png)
lmao
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/712075398866927636/99138499_1548237685345406_6420538360158224384_n.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/712075419892973700/97663093_1548237625345412_7888252264295432192_n.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/712075443099926568/97400791_1548238018678706_1130162262451945472_n.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/712075474377113610/98335822_1548237542012087_9149673305748275200_n.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/712075495998750781/97537670_1548237885345386_1823023620683726848_n.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/712075572066385950/97998469_1548237762012065_6276623897378947072_n.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/712075660474056704/95953473_1548237718678736_8880261522077515776_n.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/712075690694017054/97708657_1548237438678764_5555808916299841536_n.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/712075739041890406/97430433_1548237948678713_8082233822269145088_n.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/712075772919283812/97324270_1548237812012060_5022700773608259584_n.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/712075801012600852/96781428_1548237978678710_2639236027339767808_n.png)
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Quote from: here cums the fuck truck on May 23, 2020, 03:19:14 PM
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/712075398866927636/99138499_1548237685345406_6420538360158224384_n.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/712075419892973700/97663093_1548237625345412_7888252264295432192_n.png)
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omg absolutely overhwlmed with memes
a meme avalanche
(https://i.imgur.com/nZ6G7t1.jpg)
(//upload/c310371f-86ce-a098-d423-1839fc0ab4be.png)
discord locked down its shit so now i can't just hotlink memes off servers i have to upload them elsewehre
this is really annoying bc i was using my private server as a meme repository. they're still there but now my old posts stopped working.
i am sorry.
Quote from: here cums the fuck truck on June 06, 2020, 11:35:46 AM
discord locked down its shit so now i can't just hotlink memes off servers i have to upload them elsewehre
this is really annoying bc i was using my private server as a meme repository. they're still there but now my old posts stopped working.
i am sorry.
dang that sucks I know a lot of people who have been hotlinking from discord for a long time
Quote from: here cums the fuck truck on June 06, 2020, 11:35:46 AM
discord locked down its shit so now i can't just hotlink memes off servers i have to upload them elsewehre
this is really annoying bc i was using my private server as a meme repository. they're still there but now my old posts stopped working.
i am sorry.
wait are you sure they don't work??? I am still able to see all the pics you posted in this thread
Quote from: rachel on June 06, 2020, 11:41:22 AM
Quote from: here cums the fuck truck on June 06, 2020, 11:35:46 AM
discord locked down its shit so now i can't just hotlink memes off servers i have to upload them elsewehre
this is really annoying bc i was using my private server as a meme repository. they're still there but now my old posts stopped working.
i am sorry.
wait are you sure they don't work??? I am still able to see all the pics you posted in this thread
oh, that's good! I can't see them. Maybe a script blocker got em somehow, I have everything green but.. stuff breaks sometimes.
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/725852457544056862/3e81a493dcda8e1ca984446840f2eaea5d333b208124122e6072d4c2a2530aed_1.jpg.jpg)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/594362899452002379/727855910587727962/pun_bible-20200701-0001.jpg)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/594362899452002379/727855889788305439/FB_IMG_1593596525276.jpg)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/594362899452002379/729327116381978695/Screenshot_20200705_141347.jpg)
I invented a new word: "Plagiarism."
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/313995468604702720/729792454550618202/image0_8.jpg)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/630599999629295626/729846616361533560/Screenshot_20200706-232754_Instagram.jpg)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/736238707299975228/ee219aa11ed228599337e449f4d410b8e9c2ef9aca30834a70af291a1ad4b915_1.jpg.jpg)
Quote from: here cums the fuck truck on July 25, 2020, 11:04:19 PM
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/736238707299975228/ee219aa11ed228599337e449f4d410b8e9c2ef9aca30834a70af291a1ad4b915_1.jpg.jpg)
dang simba your dad's a joke...
Didja hear about the thieves that made off with an entire shipment of Viagra?
The police are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.
(https://i.imgur.com/Oty6JYZ.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/548382911565398018/747264538314932255/EgH9UviXkAAtt0i.png)
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(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732298/748306491605385246/unknown.png)
its pie
Quote from: here cums the fuck truck on August 24, 2020, 02:40:52 PM
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540804786651140/747568197372215456/image0.png)
lmao I like this one
(https://i.redd.it/fmyi2d5a47k51.jpg)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/542212725829402624/772496845766787122/unknown.png)
(https://i.redd.it/14xgtjjrrd061.jpg)
(//upload/b627cfa8-ebcb-5d2f-6c64-65abae13f6dc.jpg)
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(//upload/33564878-941d-e2f5-7b1c-623d36fdabab.jpg)
* So it turns out that Einstein was a real person. I always thought he was a "theoretical" physicist.
* Did I already tell you my chiropractor joke? I don't remember. It would have been about a week back...
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/717192766764875776/806189023163973642/20210202_072037.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/533154177090846720/806230003926302780/image0.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/812768169243705384/string-instrument-hi-i-am-amanda-lynn-woah-me-too.jpeg.jpg)
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EueawrvUUAUju52.jpg)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540805214732306/813065461112635392/image0_4.jpg)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/533154177090846720/813940439744905216/unknown.png)
My mom hired a handyman and gave him a list. When she got back home, only #1,3 & 5 were completed. Turned out he only does odd jobs.
His assistant is his teenaged daughter. She can't even...
I got fired from my job at the calendar factory. I took a day off.
My buddy tried to comfort me, says my days were numbered there anyways.
(https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/423936161724104706/819217234361581589/unknown.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/442499319254351892/826087684261937212/yf13heonmip61.png)
thank you quicksand
he did unspeakable things to me
(https://mltshp-cdn.com/r/1L8JE.jpg)
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(//upload/89e51272-36ae-3a6c-1186-103036b7d0d3.jpeg)
Quote from: Mozai on May 08, 2021, 06:53:31 PM
(//upload/89e51272-36ae-3a6c-1186-103036b7d0d3.jpeg)
lmao I saw that on the wiki uploader and I knew it had to be from this thread XDDD
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/765755259749662720/853782709695152178/image0.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/694390578078548028/853724829353771028/Idk_what_to_write_for_this.jpeg)
(//upload/6389d67d-f730-8925-a777-d549b2a66b9d.jpeg)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/630599999629295626/859929656459264061/0y8F8X3.jpg)
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(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/664305979050950657/873947969068630056/unknown.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/815027514388905984/875785585950883860/fo7bfz1fc0g71.jpg)
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i need a person without autism for this new job, it needs an untrainedeye
..autism = trains
Quote from: here cums the fuck truck on September 17, 2021, 03:47:39 PM
i need a person without autism for this new job, it needs an untrainedeye
..autism = trains
thanks for explaining it at the end
really ties it all together
On most mornings i wake up and have a nice big fart. But when the weekend starts, I shit my pants, because its shaturday
you guys remember the heavens gate cult? tragic, they all killed themselves when hailies coment flew by.. but i heard there's a new one, started by the goatse guy its called Heavens Gape
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/533154177090846720/890453967224598548/E_5dahEVcA8O3UZ1.jpg)
put a couple witches into my microwave, upgraded it to a microwave coven
(//upload/db2ee96c-ee09-8f73-96af-aa4eff571a07.jpeg)
i like trivial pursuit, but how about trivial pursoup and its just lots of tiny soups i like soup
stolen from abzz on irc
(https://matrix.wetfish.chat/_matrix/media/v1/download/wetfish.chat/HVbqFWGJaOLuLVdSNVhAEdMW)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/902324299715739688/927976977862893578/unknown.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/664305979050950657/928467860668444682/unknown.png)
Quote from: here cums the fuck truck on January 05, 2022, 06:03:31 PM
What's the difference other than skin colour?
- pistols / rifles
- smiling
- hats
- christmas tree
This "spot-the-difference" puzzle isn't very good.
Quote from: Mozai on January 05, 2022, 06:28:05 PM
Quote from: here cums the fuck truck on January 05, 2022, 06:03:31 PM
What's the difference other than skin colour?
- pistols / rifles
- smiling
- hats
- christmas tree
This "spot-the-difference" puzzle isn't very good.
theres no dad
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/810192722463555594/923370578939891722/IMG_8076.png)
[video]https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/142506845263757312/929480820685697104/IMG_3296.mp4[/video]
a classic
(https://i.redd.it/g3v9el3bdwj71.jpg)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/664305979050950657/931036103828467712/16420466916868867801734983274447.jpg)
jarvista
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/533154177090846720/932463897183666247/unknown.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/924397440675749888/933543395773808720/Tumblr_l_556682580728343.jpg)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/924397440675749888/937381892284628992/D7LTFb_XYAAVhi3.jpg)
(https://mltshp-cdn.com/r/1N3DZ)
> Did you know the Mortal Kombat soundtrack was based on Nordic gospel? If you listen, you can hear the Finnish hymn...
> No one wants to listen to my old Whitesnake album with me ... oh well, Here I go again on my own...
I came across a rather unusual sight the other day. Three wealthy landowners were meeting on elaborately decorated animal skins, two seemed to be on tanned cattle skins and the third was on a hippopotamus. The estates of the first two were considerable, but the third one was the size of the first two combined.
Yes, the squire on the hippopotamus was equal to the sum of the squires on the two other hides.
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/747929608678015086/959092477124542494/IMG_6826.png)
A man goes to his doctor and says "Doc every time I fart it sounds like the word Honda." the doctor looked him over and sent him to a specialist who also was clueless. So a couple months later the man is at his dentist and he asks if the dentist knows any good doctors and about his odd flatulence.
The Dentist chuckled and said, "Well thank you for telling me, I'll make sure and find your abscessed tooth and remove it." The guy replies "OH how do you know I have an abscess?" The dentist replies "Everyone knows that abscess makes the fart go Honda!"
[video]/upload/41e63d46-24e2-8c60-9248-39ec10943dea.mp4[/video]
You search and search for that nostalgic early 90s reference and then finally: whoomp there it is.
The coroner confirmed that the man who fell from the 15th floor of the nightclub was not a bouncer.
(//upload/15d37e3f-123a-5089-bf7e-3c2f891a0cda.png)
(//upload/c5c6ac05-e050-992b-e1a5-6d166f64ea1e.png)
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I had never been to a brothel before, so the first thing I did was talk to several prostitutes to compare prices. One was much cheaper than the rest, and I asked her why. "I'm giving a discount right now because I'm basically relearning to have sex. I was assigned male at birth and just completed reassignment surgery. I'm looking for feedback on my performance." I decided to give her a chance. I paid her, and we had amazing sex. She asked me to fill out a questionnaire before I left. I picked one up from the table and read the first question: "Were you satisfied with the trans action?"
Quote from: Mozai on September 29, 2022, 08:00:38 PM
I had never been to a brothel before, so the first thing I did was talk to several prostitutes to compare prices. One was much cheaper than the rest, and I asked her why. "I'm giving a discount right now because I'm basically relearning to have sex. I was assigned male at birth and just completed reassignment surgery. I'm looking for feedback on my performance." I decided to give her a chance. I paid her, and we had amazing sex. She asked me to fill out a questionnaire before I left. I picked one up from the table and read the first question: "Were you satisfied with the trans action?"
this punchline is a real groaner
(https://mltshp-cdn.com/r/1O8GL.jpg)
(//upload/807a5de3-91f8-da95-397f-9bd48a3bf475.jpeg)
A doctor and a deaf man loved the same girl. Every day the doctor would give the woman a rose, and everyday the deaf man would give the woman an apple. The woman got confused and one day asked the deaf man "Of course I understand why the doctor gives me a rose, but why do you give me an apple?"
The deaf man replied "What?"
(//upload/2dc67f64-75e9-c5f2-63ba-571119c9cb28.jpeg)
on New Year's Eve, we sing...
(https://mltshp-cdn.com/r/1OF81)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/664276554427269155/1059174440132415488/unknown.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/701540516273324082/1061174081774440448/FB_IMG_1673073783922.jpg)
So last night I went out for a burger. There was a woman doing maintenance toward the back of the restaurant. As I made my way past her to the restroom, she asked me if I wanted to go out back and smoke some weed with her...
I said "no thanks, I'm not into high maintenance women."
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first mathematician orders a beer
The second orders half a beer.
The third orders a quarter of a beer....
"I don't serve quarter pints" the bartender replies
"Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #3
"A half pint is fine. No quarters" The bartender remarks.
"Oh c'mon" says mathematician #1 "do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along"
"I've got to clean all these glasses, remember"
"But that's not a problem" mathematician #2 chimes in "at the end of the joke you serve us a whole number of beers. You see, when you take the sum of a continuously halving function-"
"I know how limits work" interjects the bartender
"Oh, alright then. I didn't want to assume a bartender would be familiar with such advanced mathematics"
"Are you kidding me?" The bartender replies, "they are tricky sure, but hardly advanced! What kind of mathematician thinks limits are advanced mathematics?"
"HE'S ON TO US" mathematician #1 screeches
Simultaneously, every mathematician opens their mouth and out pours a cloud of multicolored mosquitoes. Each mathematician is bellowing insects of a different shade.
The mosquitoes form into a singular, polychromatic swarm. "FOOLS" it booms in unison, "I WILL INFECT EVERY BEING ON THIS PATHETIC PLANET WITH MALARIA"
The bartender stands fearless against the technicolor hoard. "But wait" he inturrupts, thinking fast, "if you do that, politicians will use the catastrophe as an excuse to implement free healthcare. Think of how much that will hurt the taxpayers!"
The mosquitoes fall silent for a brief moment. "My God, you're right. We didn't think about the economy! Very well, we will not attack this dimension. FOR THE TAXPAYERS!" and with that, they vanish.
A nearby barfly stumbles over to the bartender. "How did you know that that would work?"
"It's simple really" the bartender says. "I saw that the vectors formed a gradient, and therefore must be conservative."
I told my son I now identify as invisible -- although I was born visible, I am now a trans-parent. My pronouns are who/where.
I asked for the cube root, not a ___ ____
(//upload/5b944756-808c-2c65-c6ff-022d7bb82a98.jpeg)
(https://matrix.wetfish.chat/_matrix/media/v3/download/wetfish.chat/MqXAXbHPEiRYzgbAbOCLioQf/image.png)
(https://i.imgur.com/dsY1BJd.png)
[video]https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/765755259749662720/1101496412363046992/RDT_20230424_091732.mov[/video]
[video]https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/533154177090846720/1102422349275463782/bear_jokes.mp4[/video]
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1056997944005513367/1102746345598636112/image.png)
if u say something so insulting that it kills someone, it means they died of dissentary
remember when jerry seinfeld made a movie about a bee fuckin a human woman.. i can't stand this.. beestiality
[video]https://youtu.be/jV80B1ASvig[/video]
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/924397440675749888/1109924145447321670/WhatsApp_Image_2023-05-21_at_13.21.46.jpg)
(https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/694390578078548028/1111545151907700746/IMG_3235.jpg)
Quote from: here cums the fuck truck on June 02, 2023, 07:02:08 PM
(https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/694390578078548028/1111545151907700746/IMG_3235.jpg)
I don't get it
Quote from: rachel on June 03, 2023, 11:52:58 PM
Quote from: here cums the fuck truck on June 02, 2023, 07:02:08 PM
(https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/694390578078548028/1111545151907700746/IMG_3235.jpg)
I don't get it
the face of the guy on the left is rene descartes who most famously said "i think therefore i am" and this has been crudely edited to him saying I THINK and other people saying NICE! GOOD JOB! and the last one says WE'RE which would just mean WE ARE (as in we are all thinking therefore we all exist)
its excessively dumb
the #CokeEsports tag is a nice little hilarious bon mot too
(https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/110/613/649/164/226/459/original/cfda7f8ec68466be.jpg)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/765755259749662720/1123400093672935564/image.png)
(https://staging-wiki.wetfish.net//upload/869d939c-1429-676b-b440-ed809cf47b35.jpeg)
(https://staging-wiki.wetfish.net//upload/cbe93652-7c05-2004-84c4-5075004bfe91.png)
(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/883546130296766525/1134854669047431208/48a3b505-4ac5-42bf-8d2e-9173dc72eea4.jpg)
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Getting mythology wrong is my Hercules ankle.
I have a suntanning addiction, so only go on holiday in winter. I went cold Turkey last year.
Last year, I had a great joke about inflation, but it's hardly worth it now.
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Quote from: Mozai on September 11, 2023, 09:34:03 PM
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this is clearly an anime girl joke not a dad joke
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(https://matrix.wetfish.chat/_matrix/media/v3/download/wetfish.chat/PMmbqzDaTphhqfueTsFkzqsq/you%20had%20your%20chance.jpg)
If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
What disease did cured ham have?
Why do we say "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every ninety minutes?
Why do alarm clocks make noise when we say they go off?
Shouldn't it be "SOME things in moderation" instead of "All things..." ?
Why do we yell "heads up!" when we want people to duck?
Why is it so hard to remember how to spell "mnemonic" ?
We call it quicksand but it sucks you down so slowly...
Why are all the outdoors things looked after by the Department Of The Interior ?
We call them marbles but they're made out of glass.
When French people are about to swear, do they first say "parodonez-moi mon Anglais" ?
What does a bald man have as their hair colour on a driver's license?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
You carry suits in a garment case; you carry garments in a suitcase.
When two aeroplanes almost collide and miss each other, we call it a "near miss" not "nearly a hit".
How can something be both "new" and "improved" ?
How did the "Keep Off The Grass" sign get on the grass?
(https://staging-wiki.wetfish.net//upload/87240386-101e-a51c-ada7-a928e576c2a7.jpeg)
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(https://matrix.wetfish.chat/_matrix/media/v3/download/wetfish.chat/qDfZnoEECNFQZjGuUNMffqtK/1000003711.png)
Doctor: I can knock out the patient using gas, or using a boat paddle; it's an ether / oar situation.
(https://mltshp-cdn.com/r/1PL3R.jpg)
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ME, TRYING TO CREATE A PASSWORD: <beefstew>
COMPUTER: password not stroganoff
ME, TYPING IN A NEW PASSWORD: <chicken>
COMPUTER: password must contain capital
ME: <chickenkiev>
ME, TRYING YET ANOTHER PASSWORD: <thirdlargestfrenchcityonthemediterraneancoast>
COMPUTER: password is toulon
ME, GIVING UP: <incorrecttryagain>
COMPUTER: password is incorrect; try again
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Quote from: Mozai on April 01, 2024, 04:12:34 PM
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I don't get i-- oh... haiku... oh
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My driving has not resulted in any kind of speeding ticket, pullover, or collision so far.
Thus, I would say my driving is completely wreck-less.
I have heard the Minotaur is amongst the most like-a-bull characters in mythology.
A question for all the people out their who like DND, World of Warcraft, and other fantasy fiction.
If their is a war-lock, where is the war-key?
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Quote from: Mozai on May 09, 2024, 07:57:16 AM
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Amazing Pun, good job
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Quote from: rachel on May 19, 2024, 10:53:58 AM
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Great job, Rachel. I like this joke.
1. The prefix "a-" means "none", such as in "asexual", "apolitical', "atheism"
2. The word "unicorn" is made from two parts: "uni-" meaning one, and "cornus" meaning "horn"
Conclusion: This is a picture of an acorn.
(https://icons.iconarchive.com/icons/google/noto-emoji-animals-nature/256/22227-horse-icon.png)
Did you know that you can get slushies at a courthouse?
It's because they are just-ice.
Normal People:
Star Wars, the Empire Strikes Back, was released in 1980.
Star Wars Fans:
Star Wars, the Empire Strikes Back, was released in 19AT-AT.
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Quote from: Mozai on June 16, 2024, 12:11:31 PM
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Wow this is like an IRL version of pantheon
Just wondering chaps, what do you think makes a good dad joke?
Quote from: ThePedalMan998 on June 21, 2024, 09:26:07 PM
Just wondering chaps, what do you think makes a good dad joke?
It has to be an obvious joke that doesn't require explanation, but it can't be funny, it's supposed to make you groan. Typically they are puns or wordplay
Would you say this is a good dad joke?
How to turn a tesla into a limousine?
You elon-gate it.
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Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through the hills. Tonto suddenly stops
"Halt, Kimosabe!"
"What's up Tonto?"
Tonto gets off his horse, slowly kneels down and puts his ear to the ground and huffs. Then slowly gets up.
"Buffalo come."
"That's amazing how did you know that?"
"Wet. Sticky."
There once was a man trying to make a point about the kitchen. "The sink!" He said "the sink is the single most important thing in the kitchen! It washes, it provides drinking water! It helps you prepare all of your meals and cleans your dishes for you after! The sink is the most important!"
"However," said a stranger coming through the crowd "you are forgetting about the countertop. It holds everything in the kitchen together. You prepare your food and serve your food ON the countertop. Even your precious sink would have no where to be if it weren't for the countertop!"
The man was stunned. He wasn't prepared for a counter argument
Good one Mozai
Reading this article made me SAAB.
https://sverigesradio.se/artikel/6168916
You want to know what a cycling community advocate is called?
A spokes-person.
If humans were like engines, you know what we would run on?
Ground.
You want to know why a girl by the name of Erin decided to become an auto mechanic?
It is because she wanted to help put air-in car tires.
Have you ever heard of the Italian chef who kept getting into fender benders?
He once saw all the dents in his car and said "Oh no, now my car is al-dente".
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A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. The bartender points to a sign that says "NO JOKES SERVED HERE" and asks them to leave. They head out without a word.
The next day, a horse walks in. Same deal—bartender points to the sign, and with a long face, the horse leaves.
The following day, a chicken walks in. The bartender points to the sign again and says "Sorry, no jokes served here."
The chicken, annoyed, asks "Fine. So where can I get a drink?"
The bartender replies "Try the bar across the road."
Q: What do you call it when a theater kid goes rogue and decides to become a spy?
A: thespionage
(Highlight to reveal answer)
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this one's older than I am, but Esmé hadn't heard it before, so
Q: What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?
A: I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face
(highlight to view)
What do prisoners use to call one another?
Cell phones
(highlight)
Sealing lamp.
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Guys. I just realized what a model T and a prius have in common. One is named prius, while the other is so old that it is pre-us.
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Q: What do you call a group of Trans Women
A: A Dev. Team
[video]https://youtube.com/watch?v=/MkCXeVxibAQ[/video]
Has anyone here ever wanted the details of de-tailed aircraft?
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What I think people mean when they talk about the heebie jeebies .
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Granville_Gee_Bee_Model_R_Super_Sportster
<Luke> Degenerate matter is matter that spends all day looking at naked singularities.
Quote from: Mozai on April 13, 2025, 09:35:09 PM
<Luke> Degenerate matter is matter that spends all day looking at naked singularities.
What are naked singularities?
Quote from: Fishmé on April 14, 2025, 04:20:20 PM
Quote from: Mozai on April 13, 2025, 09:35:09 PM
<Luke> Degenerate matter is matter that spends all day looking at naked singularities.
What are naked singularities?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naked_singularity
It's a theoretical object similar to a black hole except it's not strong enough to absorb all light, allowing you to see it
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Saw a hybread vehicle at Wal-Mart today.
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[video]https://youtube.com/watch?v=/kkNc_1enHnI[/video]
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Me: "I'm hungry, but I want something cheap."
Server: "... maybe the chicken strips for $6?"
Me: "I'm okay if it does, but that doesn't help with my hunger."
Quote from: Mozai on July 09, 2025, 12:48:34 PM
Me: "I'm hungry, but I want something cheap."
Server: "... maybe the chicken strips for $6?"
Me: "I'm okay if it does, but that doesn't help with my hunger."
I don't get it?
...
[video]https://youtube.com/watch?v=/aVOvGlyaye4?si=ooARcf8Ja-WSx-X9[/video]
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Quote from: Fishmé on July 09, 2025, 02:09:53 PM
Quote from: Mozai on July 09, 2025, 12:48:34 PM
Me: "I'm hungry, but I want something cheap."
Server: "... maybe the chicken strips for $6?"
Me: "I'm okay if it does, but that doesn't help with my hunger."
I don't get it?
...
The chicken will take off its clothing for six dollars
Quote from: rachel on August 02, 2025, 11:33:08 PM
Quote from: Fishmé on July 09, 2025, 02:09:53 PM
Quote from: Mozai on July 09, 2025, 12:48:34 PM
Me: "I'm hungry, but I want something cheap."
Server: "... maybe the chicken strips for $6?"
Me: "I'm okay if it does, but that doesn't help with my hunger."
I don't get it?
...
The chicken will take off its clothing for six dollars
Fuck it. I'll take of mine for $5
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[video]https://youtube.com/watch?v=/MgWdOYdhlaE?si=86AtUGHhsSuzc5rv[/video]
I got a Binary 101 book to learn from, and it's such bullshit: it expects I already read four other books.
Quote from: Mozai on August 28, 2025, 08:40:36 PM
I got a Binary 101 book to learn from, and it's such bullshit: it expects I already read four other books.
Lol here, you can borrow mine, they are coral edition 🪸
It's an ohmlette.
(//upload/42511fb6-abed-ef95-527f-400093ee868b.jpeg)
Quote from: Mozai on August 31, 2025, 12:25:43 PM
It's an ohmlette.
(//upload/42511fb6-abed-ef95-527f-400093ee868b.jpeg)
this took me a few seconds.... BOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😂
Quote from: Mozai on August 31, 2025, 12:25:43 PM
It's an ohmlette.
(//upload/42511fb6-abed-ef95-527f-400093ee868b.jpeg)
Lmao I second the booing, BOOOO! 😆
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[video]https://youtube.com/watch?v=/m7gNSB8QGQM?si=gD41BPcSU38dnEJy[/video]
[video]https://youtube.com/watch?v=/dzjURXASDF0?si=7-WpRmYz_cuH6PKv[/video]
[video]https://youtube.com/watch?v=/X9OgQETqtfA?si=Se6J64_cXRLefzdc[/video]
[video]https://youtube.com/watch?v=/JhpV5HUHZaU?si=KT8zenGkGx5QVz7B[/video]